Nearly Civilized

Hey, every one,

For the past month I’ve been in the hospital, so I haven’t been posting (outside of the last which was prewritten). I’m still here and I’m not sure how long I’ll be. I’ll be sure to update as soon as I get a chance. Then explain things of course.

If I can update Twitter, I’ll do that.

Don’t forget about me!

Jenny

When I was 14, a boy once asked me out in front of my friends. I did not like this boy, but I knew he liked me. I think it was a combination of embarrassment, nervous laughter and the onset of psychosis that made me so erratic – I couldn’t stop laughing. I laughed so hard, I cried and had to leave the classroom. I’ve always felt terrible about it.

Nobody looks like this when they're sleeping.

I had another fantastic dream a couple of nights ago. I don’t remember many details, but I was lucky enough to wake up afterward to write some crazy things down.

The dream was weaving in and out of storylines, but I remember being in Uni and discovering that my friend M. was my twin. This discovery made my heart explode with joy and lead me to tell literally everyone in my dream the news. It also lead to the obvious idea of moving in together because we had so much catching up to do like play games, bake cookies and talk about how awesome it is that we are related. I’m not sure that he was as onboard with our twinness as I was because we got in a fight and he said he didn’t want to be my twin anymore, which I had to explain it wasn’t an option we are FAMILY. So, he moved out.

Later, I went back to the apartment just to reminisce. The new renter was supposed to have moved in, but I didn’t care. I walked in and the place was empty – so I thought. Turns out the renter was there just looking around the place. When she saw me, she was all nicey nice, but I knew it was just an act. I proceeded to leave but she followed me with her arm around my shoulder engaging in a fake conversation. I sensed trouble but there was nothing I could do. When we made it to the downstairs lobby she attacked me and out of nowhere came 3 or 4 other girls to back her up. I had to kick her ass karate kid style. I think I won, but I’m not sure. I made it out alive

Having made it through one hell of a year (or few months) I was ready to move on. I adopted a new tough persona and got a tattoo. This is what it said, “Axl Rose wrote the poor play to this generations new say.” WTF does that even mean? Some gangster-looking dude who was apparently a new (made up in dreamland) friend of mine asked me why I got it because it was so controversial. I told him it was how I was feeling and it represented that time in my life. (I.e. being badass apparently).  I immediately began to freak-out and regret the tattoo because of its controversy. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to take on that kind of responsibility, but realized it was too late and decided to own it – by chanting the verse to myself and gangster friend like I was Eminem.

That’s all I remember. I woke up and laughed a bit, then wrote down that verse. On a side note: I have NO IDEA what I have against Axl Rose or why I was dreaming about him. Like, none – seriously. As for my friend and I being twins, well we were actually roommates in Uni and I haven’t talked to him in a bit, but that’s a new one for me.

I have this cousin (as I’m sure many of you have) who is a bit on the crazy side. He’s not crazy in a mentally challenged kind of way, (although debatable) he is crazy in the he parties more than any normal human being should kind of way. The party starts at the break of dawn for him and ends whenever and wherever he happens to pass out.

Being that I am close with my family and that he is a people person, I am usually invited to get the crazy on with him. Generally I decline as my favourite late nights consist of a book, a cup of tea, my dog and me (my cool factor just exploded, I know). My world has been turned upside down though because I agreed to do something with him on Saturday. It involves a demolition derby, drinking before noon and some people I’m related to. That’s all I know.

Apparently someone is coming to pick me up at 11. There is a chance that this person might not show up and there is a chance this person does not yet know that he is supposed to be picking me up (and there is a chance this guy has a suspended driver’s license). Also, according to my cousin (which makes this questionable) you are allowed to submit cars for demolition and you are allowed to participate in the derby. So, my cousin says he is driving one of the demolition cars. This, in my opinion, is probably the worst idea ever.

I have a feeling this is going to be a disaster. Maybe not…but I can’t recall a time involving him that wasn’t somewhat disastrous, so…

Recently I purchased a Holga camera as one of my 101 in 1001. I’ve wanted this camera for a while but had been putting off buying it due to my poor student syndrome. I had some film left over from an earlier purchase and decided to take some random pictures one weekend to see how the camera works.

I was impressed with how bright and colourful the actual photos turned out. One neat thing about the Holga is that you don’t have to wind the camera after each picture. You can take a double exposure to create a cool effect. I haven’t exactly mastered this skill, but I did accidentally cause this effect on a few of the photos. You can also take two photos on one slide by just partially winding the film. I accidentally did this as well with the picture of my dress and my dog creeping sideways in the corner.

Things I Learned About Film

I have learned that owning a digital camera has impaired my ability to take good photos. I have taken my viewfinder for granted and concluded that taking self shots is not a good idea when using film (without the proper equipment). As you will notice my head is not directly in any of the photos (except for the one that I did not take). Thankfully I was wearing a pretty dress that day.

*some of the photos may not be viewable because they are set to private.